I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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