my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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