I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
