I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
