it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
