Kiss
Puke
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
