I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
