i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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