was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
