I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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