i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
