i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
