I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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