this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
