I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
