Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
