Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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