I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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