Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
