Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
