just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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