i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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