just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
