Dual....:-)
dude i'm inner monologue high
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
