Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
