I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
