I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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