If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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