Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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