As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
