That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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