we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We just shotgunned beers for America
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
