they need to just BURY HIM!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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