The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
