4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
