Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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