Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
