the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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