Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
