She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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