Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
