no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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