I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
