I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
