My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
