I think i peed on brittanys purse
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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