This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
