You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
