God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My dick has a subreddit
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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