SEEEEXXX PLEASE
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
